The time to pick your bridesmaids is an important part of wedding planning. These are the people who will stand by your side, offer support, and share in one of the most memorable days of your life. But picking your bridesmaids is about more than simply choosing your closest friends—it’s about considering the dynamics, logistics, and your vision for the big day. Here’s how to approach this key decision, using our top tips to help pick your bridesmaids.
Image below by John Schofield
The first of the tips to help pick your bridesmaids is deciding on your Maid of Honour. This person will likely have a more significant role, such as planning the hen party, helping with wedding prep, and offering emotional support throughout the process. For many, this is an easy choice—a best friend or a sibling.
However, if you’re torn between two people, think about who can handle the responsibilities well. Choose someone who is reliable, organised, and genuinely supportive. Your Maid of Honour sets the tone for your bridal party, so choose wisely.
Additionally, your Maid of Honour is able to help you pick your bridesmaids if you do need help, and crossing this decision off the list of things to do is one less thing to worry about.
Images below by Sarah Cole (left) and Darren Buss (right)
Traditionally, bridesmaids were always women, but modern weddings are about celebrating personal relationships rather than rigid traditions. If you have a close male friend or sibling who means a lot to you, consider including them in your bridal party. Whether it’s a “bridesman” or a mixed group, the key is to surround yourself with people who love and support you. When you pick your bridesmaids, focus on emotional connections rather than gender norms.
Image below by Soul Of My Lens Photography
Another one of your tips to help pick your bridesmaids is to think ahead.
Weddings are significant milestones, but friendships can shift over time. Before you pick your bridesmaids, think about the future of your relationship with them. Will they still be an important part of your life a decade from now? While it’s tempting to choose friends you’ve just bonded with recently, prioritise those who have been by your side through ups and downs. Your wedding photos will last a lifetime, and you’ll want to look back on your bridal party with fondness and confidence in your choices.
Images below by Sarah Cole
Clear expectations can help you pick your bridesmaids wisely. Do you need them to help plan pre-wedding events, or will their primary role be standing by your side on the big day? Think about personality traits too. If someone is reliable but doesn’t enjoy big social events, they might not thrive as a bridesmaid but could still be involved in a different way. Communicate your expectations from the start to avoid misunderstandings and ensure that everyone feels comfortable in their role.
One thing that is vital to remember is that this is your day to celebrate your love. If you feel like one of your bridesmaids will make it stressful or unenjoyable for you – whether it is by complaining, gossiping, making themselves the centre of attention, etc – don’t pick them. It might sound harsh but it leads onto our final point nicely…
Image below by Stephanie Kalber
It’s natural to worry about hurting feelings when you pick your bridesmaids, but this is your wedding, and the decision should be yours alone. Not everyone can make the cut, and that’s okay. Explain your choices thoughtfully if someone is upset, but don’t feel pressured to add someone out of guilt. Your bridal party should be a reflection of your closest relationships, not an obligation. Remember, there are plenty of ways for others to participate in the wedding without being in the bridal party.
Images below by Jessica Bevan (left) and Samuel George (right)
Picking your bridesmaids can feel like a daunting task, but it’s an opportunity to celebrate the people who mean the most to you. By prioritising close, supportive relationships and considering future dynamics, you’ll create a bridal party that are there to make your wedding experience perfect. Whether it’s a group of lifelong friends, family members, or a mix of both, trust your instincts and choose the people who will make your day truly special. We hope our top tips to help pick your bridesmaids has taken some of the stress off this decision!
Blackstock Country Estate will make your day even more special, with our beautiful venue with views for miles of the South Downs.
For more information, please contact us directly on 01323 848 006 or email venues@blackstockestate.co.uk.
Or, if you want to, book a private viewing, then we can’t wait to show you around!